Sucker Punch - SPOILERS

I caught up with my family this evening to pick at quesidilas (good LORD spelling) and see Sucker Punch.
What, I'm sure you are asking, did I think of this controversial film?
Well I'll tell you.

Sucker Punch was visually stunning, was brilliant technically, beautifully scored and, oh whats the word I'm looking for?
Annoying.
Just, annoying.
I didn't go into this movie with many prejudices. I was curious because the concept of the imaginary mirroring reality appealed to me and I love a dark story. I had a friend who practically hissed every time the title was mentioned but besides that I had relatively adequate hopes. Not high hopes. Adequate.
I think my thoughts can be summed up best in list form.
- The beginning was cool. No dialogue, strong images, craaaazy dark close-ups. It was cool. For the first ten minutes. Once it was dragged into 20 and 30 minutes, not so cool. Kind of annoying.
- I wished we'd seen more of the mental hospital side of the characters, it might have helped us to sympathise with the characters. As it was it was a bit blink-and-miss. Like 'Oh yeah, they were in a mental hospital.' So, annoying.
- Okay so she thinks of the brothel as less traumatising than a mental institution. Really? Forced imprisonment is forced imprisonment. Annoying.
- Now I don't really have a fundamental problem with women characters in scanty clothing. Power Girl is one of my favourite super-heros and girl is defying gravity in her costume. But good gravy not one pair of pants? Not one? I've never seen so much thigh in my life. And don't be acting all like fishnets are comfortable to run in, I have run in fishnets. Fishnets are not comfortable. NONE of that looked comfortable. And weren't you cold? It was snowing, I saw your breath you ARE cold. I wish that in at least one scene they were dressed semi-practically. Just one. Again, not a fundamentally biased person against a corset. I love me some corsets and I'm sure there's gonna be a heap of girls in Baby Doll costumes. But it is not necessary in Every. Single. Scene. Annoying.
- I didn't care about any of them. Any of them. Maybe towards the end I MIGHT have cared about Sweet Pea, I really actually wanted to. I get it, it was her story. I didn't mind that aspect. But gosh I had to at least have some kind of emotional or psychological attachment to her. Or Baby Doll for her sacrifice. Annoying.
- Speaking of Baby Doll, funny how in the fantasy world SHE did all the tough stuff whereas in the brothel world she just danced whilst the others risked their lives. Super annoying. But okay, she did have a tragic ending.

I would like to mention a few positives. It was very very pretty, the actresses did their best, probably the most convincing performance from Rocket and I was a little surprised by Vanessa Hudgens in the few seconds she was allowed some semi-decent writing. Blue was a moderately well supported villain in that he established himself as a real threat; he was smart, cruel and selfish which is a far more frightening combination than stupid and evil. The problem was the story and the characters did not grab me until the last 20 minutes or so, losing me again for another 10 minutes where they were all 'Zomigosh-Look-It's-Jon-Hamm-Isn't-He-Handsome' (which he is) and then getting me again for the last two minutes.
But the last two minutes do not a movie make.

It was annoying. The story was sloppy, the characters were unsympathetic and you do not pitch yourself as a female-empowering movie unless you can empower ALL females. Not just the ones who wear sailor costumes and thigh-highs. They essentially dug their own grave on that one.
If they'd put on some pants in at least two scenes, given the main character some inkling of sympathetic traits, given the supporting cast some credit and rationalised their setting choices then maybe they'd have a half-decent gurl-action film. Otherwise, just frankly obnoxious and, yep, annoying.